


connections

by cloversluck



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post 5B, post 6a, pre 6B, pre 6a
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 12:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloversluck/pseuds/cloversluck
Summary: series of stydia one-shots based on events that could have taken place between the seasons





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This hiatus has been awful but one good thing to come out of it has been my increased motivation to actually write stydia fanfiction. Promote your show MTV!
> 
> \--
> 
> Drabble #1: it's always stiles 
> 
> set somewhere between 5B and 6A. based on the loved 'you drag me out of bed like i'm some sort of supernatural metal detector' scene.

Managing to get a peaceful nights sleep that resulted in her waking up the next day actually feeling rejuvenated was something that she hasn’t been familiar with in a long while. Within the last two years she has gotten used to the constant disturbances that inevitably forced her out of bed and into the chaos that is being involved with the supernatural. Almost every day, or well night, resulted in some unforeseen event. Whether that ‘unforeseen event’ was late research, walks around forbidden places looking for clues or just trying to survive and not become another tragedy. It was always something. It was always Stiles. 

Tonight was no different. 

She had just gotten into bed, after a day that seemed to never end. Nothing bad happened. Nothing really exciting even happened, it was just another average day. It began at the normal time, 6:15, progressed through the school day until they all got out at 3:30, and was planned to end at around midnight after some light reading and attempts at perfecting one of her latest mathematical theorems. To her it was a sort of miracle that days like this were possible. It wasn’t long ago that things were hectic and wild. Now though, with both the Dread Doctors and the Beast taken down and nothing else presently trying to kill them, things were….quiet. In a sort of resting period. It was nice. Appreciative was a word that she would probably use to describe how she felt about it all. 

It was that thought that allowed her to finally start drifting off into sleep. Burrowing further into the many layers of blankets covering her, revelling in the comfort of it. Unfortunately, this peace only lasted a total of twenty minutes. 

Her phone broke the silence, the harsh vibrations causing it to clash against her side-table. She quickly pushed herself up and reached out, to grab it, before it inevitably fell to the ground. A moment passed before she fully adjusted to the brightness, her eyes scanning over the screen, eventually viewing the very familiar picture and name. Her heart almost instinctively began to speed up as she moved her finger to the ‘accept’ button. 

“There’s not a single part of me that believes you have already found something else that might, possibly, pertain to the supernatural enough to justify this call.” she spoke quickly, in a sort of hushed tone. 

“I’m sure of it this time! The police on the radio seemed confused, which isn’t that weird but the details of what they found were--” his voice was loud and booming through the speaker of her phone. 

Really she should be used to it by now, his never ending amount of energy and life. It just never failed to amaze her, his ability to have that still left in him. After everything that had happened over the last two years. She supposed they all had to keep themselves lively. Not allow the surrounding chaos to swallow them up. It was obvious that there was a sort of jaded viewpoint on a lot as a result. Still though, she admired him for it. 

“--you have to admit that sounds like something supernatural, it’s _classic_ really--” he continued on, rambling at this point. Her focus went in and out on what he was saying since in all reality, shes heard this a million times before. 

How he was certain that there was something supernatural about some small event that took place in the town. To her it seemed like he was almost bored in a way. He seemed restless, like he missed the drama that came with it all for some reason. It would be a lie if she said she understood why he was like this, so obsessed. She wished he would slow down, take time to appreciate the lulls. If they could even be called that. 

“At this point, what doesn’t classify as some sort of supernatural dilemma that has to be stopped at..” her attention went to the time on her phone. “1:30 in the morning,” 

“Plenty of normal things still happen, well technically. It’s not my fault all of the supernatural issues are at this time. They don’t seem to like to go by a normal schedule but hey--” he cut off for a second, she could hear shuffling noises as he moved, “are you even home?”

That got her attention, and caused a long sigh that she didn’t realize she was holding to be released. It didn’t surprise her that he was here, it wasn’t unusual for him to come to her house and drag her out of bed to solve the latest mystery. 

“Of course I’m home Stiles, it’s one in the morning on a Thursday and I had no intention to be anywhere but here. What are you doing here?” 

“I know you said no more late visits with this stuff but honestly--” he stoped again briefly, she could hear that he was starting to get a bit nervous “it’s important this time I swear and hey, I even brought snacks. It’ll be no more than an hour, maybe two, three at most.” 

Aside from the obvious factors that would stop her, she couldn’t think of a reason to not go. No part of her enjoyed the idea of him going out in the middle of the night looking for supernatural issues alone anyway. It took her a while to fully realize, partially due to a lack of willingness to be aware, but she worried about him. His inability to rest and take a break made her nervous. Even with being able to sense when death is slithering it’s way too close , there was still a protectiveness that stayed with her. 

It was then decided that she would go ahead and listen to her gut (or her heart, same difference honestly) and get ready for another near sleepless night. She tossed off her covers and dragged herself out of her bed groggily trying to gain some type of steadiness in her footing. The quiet knocking on one of her front windows was almost enough to send her falling. 

After getting it together, she stepped forward a few steps to open the blinds only to be greeted with a familiar smiling face. It took a bit of effort to not smile and duck her face down in greeting. Her hand reached up to unlatch the lock on the window to let him in. 

“I know you have a key, I don’t understand the point of you climbing all the way up here when you could have easily--” he stumbled a bit, causing her to grab a hold of his hand that was closest to her to stabilize him. “avoided this.” 

He stepped fully into her room with her aid, flashing her another quick smile in thanks. Damn him. 

“Didn’t want to risk pissing your mom off again after last time”

“An easy way to avoid that is to maybe not sneak into our house at three in the morning and mistaking her room for mine”

“It was dark and I was…disoriented.” 

Deciding to spare herself the details, she put her hand out to take the folder that he had been somehow holding. Times like this made her think about how investing in a murder board like Stiles’ own would benefit the nights they did their work at her house. If he insisted on this way of getting up to her room it would probably be safest for him to do so with free hands. 

“So what’s actually in this folder if the information that you got was from the police radio?” she opened the folder, peering down and noticing that it mainly consisted of written work that seemed to be for school. 

“That’s uh..school work. I figured while we are out you could explain some of it to me, maybe. There might be some time to kill.” 

Closing the folder after his admission she sighed. “If this is such a pressing matter why would there be time to kill?” Her mind wondered for a second while she waited for his response. 

“It’s backup! You never actually know with these things--” 

A smirk made it’s way to her face as she handed him back his belonging. “You don’t need to make up a supernatural sighting and ignorance to work that I know you can solve just so you can hang out with me.” 

His face flushed at this, probably not expecting her to remark on his lack of excuse. She realized the weight of her comment as she continued to stare at him, noticing with each passing second that there seemed to be a growing tension in the room. Over the last few months things had changed between them. Nothing physically has happened but there was something there, both of them teetering on the edge of it. Seemingly waiting for the other one to make a move. 

Wanting to avoid the problem that she might have just caused, she made her way across her room towards the bathroom that was connected to it. Making sure to grab the spare clothes she had sitting on the chair next to the door so that she could change. Not bothering to look back she opened the door to the other room, closing it hastily. 

It was obvious to her that this action wasn’t exactly a solution. If anything it will probably make things worse, she can’t imagine the topic being dropped when she finally comes back out. Not a single part of her thinks that she can handle dealing with the potential discussion right now though. 

Besides, to Lydia it didn’t seem like it was needed, rushing into it. Nothing about them had ever been fast, more gradual and slow-paced. It’s not like they didn’t have the time to figure it all out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No part of her wanted to let any of her friends down, send them on a crusade looking for whatever…..or whoever? Especially given her insecurities on the whole thing. She couldn’t imagine leading the group down a wrong path again, wasting their time because of a slight feeling of imbalance. Not when things were actually okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRAILER TOMORROW 
> 
> \--
> 
> Drabble #2: Unsettled
> 
> focuses on the events that took place near the end of 6x01 and beginning parts of 6x02.

It was hard for her to understand why she felt the way that she did, why everything seemed so out of place even though nothing had changed. The rest of pack didn’t seem bothered in the slightest which made it all the more frustrating. Watching them go happily about their days was unsettling.

She walked aimlessly around her neighborhood, her thoughts pushing her into a state that was almost trance like. 

Over the last two years she had become well aware of how…unique her abilities are and how random they can be at times. How just the mere thought of waking up and finding herself near another lost soul could be enough to put her on edge for the rest of the day. It was the unpredictability that affected her the most. This part lead to there always being a flicker of doubt in the minds of others and herself. 

After a while it began to feel like her legs were made of lead. How long had she been walking at this point? It didn’t seem right to just stop though, there had to be a reason behind why she felt the need to start this in the first place. So she kept going. 

No part of her wanted to let any of her friends down, send them on a crusade looking for whatever…..or whoever? Especially given her insecurities on the whole thing. She couldn’t imagine leading the group down a wrong path again, wasting their time because of a slight feeling of imbalance. Not when things were actually okay. 

Her eyes scanned over the area that she had found herself in, noticing as she continued on everything became less and less familiar. Confusion overcame her, why would she be led here? Nothing appeared to be out of place in fact, the surroundings were still and quiet. However, she just couldn’t bring herself to ignore the heavy feeling that settled in her stomach, that along with the voices in her head kept her motivation afloat. 

_‘A sign that went beyond my supernatural instincts would come in handy right about now, give me a reason to justify walking creepily around some strange neighborhood,’_

A sign was one of the reasons why she felt so strongly about this in the first place, the events that happened earlier constantly playing over in her mind. She wished that it had been more clear than it was. Seeing that women and imagining…or was it reliving? Some type of moment between her and that voice. That voice. 

_‘I wish I knew who it belonged to, it had to be someone’s didn’t it? It couldn’t have been some form of quasi-memory that I made up to give validation to everything else? Could it have been?’_

It wouldn’t be possible to be going through all of these different motions if it was really something that she was making up. One is an incident, two is a coincidence and three is a…

Her foot collided with a curb, causing her to almost fall face down into the grass and cement. The urge to stand straight up and shout at the ache that was currently in her foot was quickly replaced by the need to grab her head due to a sudden pulse that went through it. More jumbled up voices over-powered her own thoughts. 

She forced herself to look upwards and figure out what had caused her to lose focus and then trigger the current partial screaming in her head, opening her eyes she held her gaze on the decently sized house in front of her. 

There wasn’t much of a difference between it and the rest of the houses that she had managed to make out through her slight haze. Nothing stood out, the appearance of it giving away not a clue as to why she would be lead to it. 

_‘Is the entire house supposed to be my sign? Because--’_

Her eyes locked on the person a good amount of feet away from her who was currently trying to enter the house. 

_‘The Sheriff? Why?’_

It took effort to not laugh to herself, what kind of question was that honestly. When did any of this actually bother to make sense. 

_‘I can’t just walk up to him and ask if he had experienced anything off recently. The answer would obviously be no since nobody else seems bothered in the slightest,’_

Slowly, she began to walk again, trying to keep her pace normal so she didn’t appear any more out of place in this seemingly near isolated part of town. It didn’t make sense to her though honestly and everything was telling her to go back, just go back. 

_‘There’s nothing I can do without sounding like I’m losing my mind…again. Get my thoughts together maybe and come back when more happens. Something else is bound to happen, it has to.’_

She was desperate at this point. Even with the almost unbearable sounds echoing through her head there was not a thing realized and without something tangible it was going to stay that way.

_‘Something is just too indescribably off-putting about it all.’_

It wasn’t rational to miss something that might just be nothing more than a figment of her imagination. It certainly wasn’t to describe one of the feelings that had been lingering around as love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘As long as he stays here he’ll be safe’ 
> 
> The thought became a mantra. Constantly replaying in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's hoping that we get something stydia related soon!  
> \-----
> 
> Drabble #3: premonition paranoia 
> 
> set a little before 6x11

It didn’t take long for things to go back to the cruel and hectic ways that made Beacon Hills famous stomping grounds for everything troubling. 

This was something that Lydia took notice to the moment she returned. 

Time had passed by quickly ever since she and Stiles drove to DC, the last three months seemed to vanish before their eyes. All of it spent together, making up for the moments that they had lost while he was gone. Relishing in each other, appreciating the fact that they had finally gotten to where they were.

The thought made her nearly sigh in contentedness. Memories such as those were the things that gave her the motivation to be the one to go back. It’s not like she didn’t have the time anyways. Unlike him, school wasn’t currently an issue for her. 

She sat back, choosing to relive the last moments they had together before she had finalized her decision to make the forty-eight hour drive back. 

\----------

 

_“It has to be me Stiles.” she neatly folded another dress into her suitcase. Not bothering to rush through the process, it wasn’t a problem if she was a bit late. If it meant that she could have even a few more minutes here, in the place where she had finally found some sort of peace._

__

__

_“Scott made sure to tell us how good things were going right now, how quiet it’s been.” he sounded uncertain about what he was saying, his tone giving away the concerns that his words weren’t._

__

__

_Her hands loosened on the floral skirt that she was holding, choosing to rest it on the chair by the closet._

__

__

_“You know just as well as I do that Scott doesn’t have any problem with sparing us the details,” she moved over to where he was leaned back on the bed. “All hell could break loose and he would still claim that everything is just fine over in Beacon Hills,”_

__

__

_“At least let me come with you then,” he grabbed one of her hands, placing it between his two “I haven’t missed any classes yet--” a grin appeared on his face as he said that, apparently proud of his accomplishment._

__

__

_His words made her stomach lurch uncomfortably. It was difficult for her to communicate it to him but his safety was always something that was a huge concern._

__

__

_Ever since…what happened she has had a hard time imaging being away from him for long in fear of something going wrong again. It wasn’t rational, which she realistically knew, but she also was aware of how real her need to keep him safe was._

__

__

_“You’ve literally been in school for two weeks,” a slight, albeit forced smile began to show on her face “Besides, I’ll be fine. Remember I was the one that managed to figure out how to solve the last big problem that we faced.”_

__

__

_Stiles let her hand fall free from his own instead choosing to cup her face, rubbing one of her cheeks with his thumb. His eyes glistened as he looked at her “I’ll always remember.”_

__

__

_Leaning upwards he kisses her lightly, both of them lingering, savoring the moment._

__

__

_Overwhelmed suddenly with the need to have him closer, Lydia pushes herself onto the bed feeling his hands drop from her face as she does so and straddles him._

__

__

_There’s so much that she wants to say, to express._

__

_“I love you.”_

__

__

_It would have to do for now._

__

__

_“I love you too.” his face softened, an unintentional side effect that he had whenever those words were spoken to her._

__

__

_She crashed her lips back to his making the choice to instead go the physical route. Where there was never any self doubt nor confusion._

__

__

_**‘As long as he stays here he’ll be safe’**_

****

****

__

__

_The thought became a mantra. Constantly replaying in her head._

\----------

 

What she was doing could be viewed as selfish. She knew that it wasn’t the best idea to keep the truth from him. He could take care of himself, just as well as anybody. 

There was a back and fourth in her mind, every once in a while she found herself staring at the phone wanting so badly to call or text. Maybe something…..

“Lydia?”

Hearing her name seemed to bring her right back to reality. 

“Sorry, what?” 

“I said are you ready to go on Friday?” 

Friday. 

“Yeah.” her voice was even, “I just have a few more things to pack back up beforehand.” 

Silence filled the room once again for a few seconds almost causing her to zone back out. 

“..Everything okay?” 

She could almost feel a new wall being built around her. 

“No, yeah!” her tone went high, an automatic defense seemed to kick in “I’m fine, just tired you know? I haven’t gotten a ton of sleep since I’ve been back.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Although she might have spared a few details regarding it, her nights were sleepless. A crushing contrast to how it was just a couple of days ago. 

“I miss him too you know.” his tone was quiet, consoling. 

Her heart rate sped up. 

“We all do or so I would think.”

Sarcasm was always a good defense. 

“Lydia…” 

“Scott..” 

“I know you don’t like talking about things so I’ll drop it but it’s okay to be upset.” 

He came from a good place, she knew that really, but it still bothered her. It wasn’t any sort of secret that she has been slightly on edge ever since she came back. Being thrown into it all again made her uneasy. No part of her wanted any of her friends to worry about her though so it had been decided in her own mind that she would keep to herself.

“It’s honestly nothing I swear,” she focused on breathing steady “Maybe the anticipation of whats to come is starting to…overwhelm me.”

His sigh was audible through the phone, she knew he didn’t believe her. “It’s going to be okay Lydia. All of us, we always make it.” 

“Sure.” 

“...I’ll see you in two days alright?” 

Her hand tightened around her phone. This was Scott. The same Scott that has been there through everything that has happened over the last two years. One of her closest friends, a good support. Confiding in him should be easy at this point, right?

“Scott?”

“Yeah?” his tone brightened up for a moment

“See you on Friday.” the words were forced, unwilling.

“Talk to you later Lydia.” 

There was a loud beeping noise a few minutes later after the called was dropped. 

Damn. 

The room felt like it was spinning as she sat down on her bed the new silence partially nauseating to her as she stared at the phone screen. More specifically the missed alerts that she had failed to notice until now. They must have popped up while she was talking to Scott. 

Four messages from Stiles and…one from her mom but that was besides the point. 

**‘hey. it’s been weird without you here, I mean it’s only been like 2 days but still. i miss you! can’t wait until you come back or I go back to you or I don’t know. home isn’t the same without you lydia.’**

****

****

**‘that was cheesy wasn’t it? it’s true though it’s been rough, well not rough but not easy. the roommates moved in yesterday and you know my issues with new people.’**

****

****

**‘i feel like I’m rambling now, you would probably tell me i am but i’m not sure. see, i'm lost! anyways I should probably go, gonna be late for the bureau operations class. ah!’**

****

****

**‘love you (:’**

****

****

A soft smile appeared on her face as she read through them all. 

Every part of her wanted to respond but it wouldn’t result in any way that wouldn’t paint the current state of Beacon Hills as okay.. The last thing she wanted was to worry him while he was doing so good. While he was so incredibly safe. 

Turning the phone off and tossing it to the side was the best option for now. Much like Scott she knew that he would see through her choice of facade even if they were just communicating via text. 

Still, the idea of ignoring some of his messages because of her current distress made her uneasy. It wasn’t ideal, not in any universe would she want to make the choice to not have his comfort. 

She fell back onto her bed, plopping down dramatically. 

If only feelings could be as simple as learning how to perform the tasks of solving and creating theories. 

It would be okay. Everything always was in the end or so they all hoped. 

Her eyes closed as she felt her breath starting to catch in her throat. 

**‘As long as he stays away he’ll be safe’**

****

****

The thought repeated until she felt the familiar release of pressure in her chest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their lack of skill in that department made her reminisce for what her life used to be. Honestly though, it wasn’t imaginable to her how things would be now if she wasn’t abruptly thrown into the supernatural world like she had been. 
> 
> Oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6b is testing me. 
> 
> \-----  
> Drabble #4: undoubtedly concerned 
> 
> set somewhere between 6x04 and 6x05.

Things were beginning to make more sense to her now. 

It took some time but her last fugue state could now be easily explained. 

His name was Stiles. 

The sheriff and Claudia (not confirmed) were his parents. 

That house that had confused her for weeks had been the one that they all lived together in, she assumed, before he got taken. 

In sum, this had been what she told Scott and Malia. 

They didn’t believe her. 

She wished some part of her was shocked by that, by the fact that the only two people she could count on were now doubting her every word. 

She wasn’t for many reasons. 

There wasn’t a clear way for them to know what she was aware of. They didn’t hear and see the things that she did.

It couldn’t be helped that she was alone when anything concrete and solid would happen. 

_‘If I can’t find something that is tangible soon they're all going to lose interest.’_

Her fingers ran over the board that she had built in her room, it was filled with the different clues that she had managed to gather over the past month and a half. 

The clues that somehow managed to make everybody more confused and concerned. 

The reasons were clear as to why everybody would be worried about her, her talents were unique. Unlike the other pack members she had a close relationship with death and the like. She couldn’t get mad at them for not being the same. In a lot of ways she envied their inabilities to hear screaming incomprehensible voices. 

Their lack of skill in that department made her reminisce for what her life used to be. Honestly though, it wasn’t imaginable to her how things would be now if she wasn’t abruptly thrown into the supernatural world like she had been. 

Oh well.

She stopped her hand when it reached over his name which she had drawn a couple weeks prior during one of her premonitions. Out of everything she felt the most connected to it. 

It seemed to make it more real to her, giving validation. The voice that had been replaying in her mind, that she had relived being around seemed so much closer to her with a name. 

This was one of the things that allowed her to want to pursue it all more. That voice, the name and her undeniable feelings couldn’t all be made up. 

After all, love wasn’t something that came easy to Lydia. Emotions in general were hard for her to fully grasp and make sense of. 

Suddenly a hollow noise rang out through the room.

A knock on the closed door. 

“Yeah?” her tone was strained.

“Lydia?” 

The deep voice surprised her, not expecting anybody but her mother to be around. 

“...Scott? What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to check on you…to see if you were okay after today..” she noticed that he was staring at the board that her hand was still on. 

Her defensive reflexes kicked in and she dropped it, choosing to instead wrap both of her arms protectively around her middle. 

“I’m fine.” 

“I just..” he seemed distressed as he stepped further into the room, making sure to close the door back behind him. “I know you are upset by what we said at the hospital.” 

“Upset?” 

“You have every right to be mad.” 

“I know, and I’m not.” 

“I want to believe Lydia, I do.” he spoke quickly, seemingly trying to convince both her and himself. 

Honestly, she pitied him. While it was clear that he wasn’t fully convinced it was just as obvious that he wanted to trust what she had been trying to get across to him. 

“You mean well Scott and I appreciate that.” 

“It’s just difficult to understand. Aside from the feeling of missing something there isn’t anything to go off of.”

He moved over to sit on her bed, putting his hands over his face for a moment showcasing a display of frustration which for Scott wasn’t common. 

All of this was changing them for the worst. That much was obvious and understood by everyone. 

The word nightmare came to mind when she thought about it too hard. For some reason nothing compared to this. None of the other hellish events that took place in the town even came close. In a lot of ways this felt worse than the many deaths. 

“Which part?” 

“What?” 

“Which part don’t you understand?” 

“..All of it.” 

Her attention was centered back on the board as he said that. Eyes wondering over the many red strings that coated the white background and the images that were stuck on them. 

One thing in particular kept drawing her in. She grabbed for it, the paper light in her hands. 

“What’s that?” 

She turned back around, holding the loose single sheet that was filled with writing. 

Most of which was rushed, messy. Jotted down in a time when she wasn’t sure if this memory too would soon be taken from her like everything else. She wasn't sure how any of this worked, if it was at all possible to keep what was supposed to be lost. 

This one was different though. There was a reason she bothered to write it down but not anything else. 

Somehow the memory managed to come back. It broke through the curse that they had all been given. 

His eyes locked onto what she was holding trying to make out at least some of the writing that was on it. 

“A good starting point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it doesn't seem like much but i wanted to say thanks for the kudos! i wasn't expecting any type of reaction to this so i appreciate it! :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble #5: makes the heart grow fonder 
> 
> \-----
> 
> set during 6B, meant to give a sort of background as to why lydia would feel it best to keep stiles in the dark in relation to all of the beacon hills drama

It was a bad idea. 

Surely, nothing good would come of it. 

In what world would anything positive be the result.

She pressed send. 

Her hand clutched the phone, she could feel her nails digging into the crevices of the case surrounding it. 

Well, no going back now. 

She had just returned to her car after spending a good amount of time with Scott and Malia. All of them were trying to figure out the best possible way to go about the current issue that they were dealing with. 

As of last Tuesday, a couple dozen non-supernatural people were trying to kill her and her friends for being apparent burdens to the town and it’s safety. 

Honestly? The entire thing was bullshit. 

No part of her had any doubt that if it weren’t for them the _entire_ town would have been taken over by the constant evils that they had defeated over the last two years of their lives. 

It was questionable what made these random people think that they could have handled it on their own. 

The whole of it gave her a migraine. 

Just one time. Just once. Having the chance to actually be in this town and relax, not suffer through something else would surely be enough to make her assume that her sanity could be salvaged. 

Her phone vibrated in the palm of her hand. 

_‘i was starting to get worried that something went wrong. happy to hear that things are going so well (:’_

This entire thing was going to bite her in the ass later.

**‘skype call later? to catch up? maybe we can finally both commit to that idea that had been tossed around, if you’re up for it…’**

She sent it before fully registering what she was saying, almost as if the words were automatic.

His response was quick, probably eager to read what she had replied since it had been a while since they had an actual conversation. 

_‘.…if I’m up for it?’_

**‘happen to have any spare time right now?’**

Almost as soon as the text was delivered her phone shown Stiles picture and number indicating that a call was coming her way. Quickly she placed the device in the attachment on her car’s windshield so that she could safety back out. 

Once on the road she pressed the accept button. 

Her foot pushed down harder on the gas petal when she heard his voice, eager to try and get home as quickly as possible. 

The irony in what she was attempting to do didn’t go past her. 

It was understood that using him to distract herself from the issues that she created revolving around him wasn’t the best plan. 

Things had gotten to the point where there was a struggle to find a good solution. Ignoring him hadn’t worked as well as she hoped nor had playing too much attention to him. She had a feeling her current ‘meet-in-the-middle-’ idea was also about to backfire. 

It wasn’t a mystery to her. 

None of this should even be happening. The only way to fully get out of this tedious cycle would be to actually bother and tell the truth. 

Which was an option that she couldn’t make her self consider in these circumstances. 

She turned her car into the long driveway leading up to her house, yanking the key out of the ignition eager to try and get inside knowing that once there she would be free from her own thinking at least for a short while. 

Her center of focus returned back to the voice that was blaring through her phone, barely acknowledging what she was saying back to him. Based on his tone of voice he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. Probably just relieved to be actually speaking with her again, ironically the reasoning behind the call being made in the first place seemed to be not in his train of thought as she listened to him ramble about how ‘cool’ the entirety of his college was. 

The way he explained his classes and discussed the branches that he had the opportunity to pursue as the years went on made her long for her own future outside of this damn town. 

She could almost physically feel her will to keep all of this up crumble apart as he continued. 

_“Stiles.”_

The conversation needed to end before she completely lost it. 

She was uncertain however if she didn’t just break enough to let him know.

Her tone had a sort of urgency to it, a result of her guard not being in top shape. 

It was of note that she noticed her slight change in voice tempo and level because she knew for a fact that he most likely caught on as well. 

“...Lydia?” 

Damn it. 

“I’m fine.” 

“I can probably guess what’s going on you know.” 

Her heart started to feel like it was beating out of her chest. 

“Mmm, can you?”  
  
“I get being nervous about leaving and being so far away from home.” 

_Oh._

“Do you?”

“Knowing that I am currently half way across the country from all of you hasn’t exactly been easy,” he let out a breathy chuckle, clearly trying not to let the weight of that statement get to him. 

Oh. 

“No, yeah--.” she began to pace around the room “I can’t say that hasn’t been…bothering me lately.” 

It struck her in that moment that for the first time in literal weeks, she was telling the truth. 

The thought felt like a pressure on her heart, not a single part of her took comfort in the fact that she was surrendering to the difficulties of life and choosing to reapply that mask that she wore for so long before meeting the current people in her life. 

So much of her began to feel as though she had been regressing back into that way of handling situations, ever since she and Stiles started dating. 

It was an simple way to cover up during times when she felt stuck in a corner. Her back pressed up against the wall with nowhere else to go. 

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m even making the right choice--” she could hear him letting out a forced chuckle mid-sentence.

“You are.” 

It was unintentional that she intervene in the mist of him talking but it couldn’t be kept away even though part of her wasn’t even sure that he had heard what was said since her voice had been barely above a whisper. 

His sudden silence, time that she assumed he was using to let her few words of encouragement soak in was answer enough. 

“I miss you.” 

Well now, that just wouldn’t do. 

“You’ve only been gone for two weeks.” 

“Seventeen days actually.” 

Any more of these types of conversations and all of the hope that she had in relation to not just breaking down and telling him everything would crumble faster than her initial desires to leave the town once trouble had started back up.

_Keep it together, harm will come his way if you don’t manage to._

“Oh, you’ll live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its actually been months even though I have had this drabble almost fully written for like half of that time oops. anyways i have a sudden urge to start writing stydia again (honestly still pissed at how 6B was handled) so I will probably be actually updating this more regularly!


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble #6 (part 1):
> 
> motivations become a blur
> 
> set after stiles comes back during the 6B final. centered on stiles finding out about lydia getting shot........again.

There were always complications when looking back on the events that occur in the town, this most recent one being no exception. 

A shootout. 

Last night. 

Monroe. 

The details came rushing back to her as she groggily opened her eyes, which, she found hard to keep open with the blinding overhead lights shining down on her. 

_The hospital._

An automatic reaction to the brightness at this point, there wasn’t any mistaking. After all of the times she had managed to find herself in this exact same position. 

Her whole body felt weighted, a prolonged amount of time was taken as she turned her head to the side trying to view the shadow that was to the left of her bed. 

Scott. 

“Hey.” 

His voice was rough, a sad undertone rung through it as he looked at her, shortly placing his hands on top of her one that didn’t have wires connected to it. This being his automatic reaction when he realized that she had (finally?) waken up. 

She studied him for a moment, taking in his dishevelled look. It never failed to make her heart clench, having to see the ones she cared about in this same suffering time and time again. 

_Will it ever end?_

“Is everyone okay?” 

It surprised her how easy the words came out, with little thought involved. Its become a sort of instinct at this point. Worrying about the pack, especially since they seemed to be the constant targets in this damn town. 

“Well, not everyone…” 

She couldn’t bring herself physically to look to where his gaze was now located but she could feel it. The slight twinge of pain that would course through that area every once in a while. 

It was another familiarity, that pain. 

“You know what I mean Scott.” 

His eyes lingered for a moment on her wound that was now covered before looking back towards her face, a forced small smile resting on his own. 

“We’re okay.”

The phone on his lap buzzed for the third time, which got a quick response from Scott: flipping it and hitting the silence button. 

No. 

“Who’s that?” 

She already knew. 

“Lydia…” 

“ _Who_ is it Scott?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, I wouldn’t just-”

“He can’t know, he’ll get on the first plane-” 

“We agreed to not say anything to him I’m not just going to break that promise.” his voice was low, but strained. 

She knew he wouldn’t, Scott never broke his promises. Still, it troubled her. The idea of someone eventually telling Stiles about all of this as well as the potential that she would most likely _have_ be that person. 

He would notice…wouldn’t he? 

The new scars, after all, he has gotten so familiar with the old ones that were scattered over her body throughout the short course of their relationship. 

The thoughts made her mind as well as her heart race, which she was positive Scott could sense considering the sudden alerted expression that made its way onto his face. 

The phone buzzed again. 

_Shit._

\-----

It didn't happen like she had thought it would. 

He noticed something was off the night that he came back to Beacon Hills. 

Well… besides the fact that all of his friends were lying to him about how horrible the state of the town was in. 

He saw through her. 

After he asked if there had been anything else that had happened over the course of the months that he was gone and she quickly answered no. 

She was ware of how obvious her actions and words were, one of the main reasons she continued to force herself to keep communication with him minimum while he was in Washington. 

“There wasn’t--” she began again, noticing his gaze drift off to the side of her. 

“...Whats that?”

Wait. 

She abruptly turned around to figure out what caught his interest, almost instantly she locked her gaze on the many bottles of medication given to her after being released from the hospital for her wound. 

“Medication.”

Why. 

“Lydia..”

“ _What_ Stiles?” 

It wasn’t fair. 

She doesn’t mean to snap, but that part of her never seemed to fade away like the rest did. 

It was fear. 

Fear of what might happen. 

She knew that he would always forgive her, no matter what. He always would. 

She wished she found comfort in that.

Instead that fact makes it worse in her eyes. She doesn’t want to make him feel like he has to forgive her. Honesty would prevented all of this. 

But how? 

How could have she been honest when she knows him so well. 

When she knows that he wouldn’t have stayed away, he wouldn’t have chosen his new safe life over the lives of his friends that were in constant danger back home. 

He could have died. 

He could have been the one to get shot. 

He could have _disappeared from existence_ again. 

He- 

“What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a month! again! school and work aren't a fun combination, which i am currently learning! anyways, this is the first part to this drabble. which i decided to split into two because there is a lot i want to do with this topic. thanks for reading! (:
> 
> also! shoutout to bel for leaving a nice comment on my last chapter and suggesting this topic for the next! i hope this is what you imagined! (at least partly since there is more to come!)


End file.
